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17 November 2012 @ 01:21 pm
I failed that fast I mentioned in my previous post, binged hella, and gained to 320 lbs.

BUT, last Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I fasted. I'm down to 304.4 lbs. So that's 15.6 lbs down in 4 days(I mostly fasted yesterday, the 4th day, then had Subway, but still lost weight.)

I want to try being normal for a bit, to fix my fucked up metabolism and electrolytes. I'll stay under 800 calories, but eat all healthy stuff. If I exercise, I can eat those calories.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Eyesore - Marie Mena
28 October 2012 @ 11:52 am
310lbs as of now :)

I haven't ate or drank anything so far in this fast, so that's a little over 17 hours. 3lbs down in 17 hours, it's probably just water weight or something, but I'm kinda happy. Hehehe. :) 

Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: Apple Pie - Goon Moon
27 October 2012 @ 10:10 pm
This blog has turned into a weight gain blog and I need to change that... My new HW is... 313... I almost killed myself when I saw 300, now I just feel numb and tired. I'm fasting. For real this time. No 14 hour shit. I asked my mom if she would pay me to lose weight as motivation. She said for 13 pounds I'd get $20. For 100 pounds $1000! I'm really gonna do it, I'm properly motivated, and I want this SO bad!

In other news, today was my first day of work at my new job as a cashier. I do other stuff too though, like answer phones, take messages, file, and clean. I'm only gonna be working on Saturdays, but that's still $60 each Saturday. I work a 6hr shift, 9am-3pm.

Also, as far as school goes, I'm doing great. I began the year in 10th grade and have moved up to 11th! I earned 29.5 credits. You'd normally earn 15, but I'm doing so much extra stuff. I go to school from 8:15am-3:15pm Mon-Fri. But, I have night school on Tues+Thurs from 3:30-5:30 and cyber high on Mon+Wed 3:30-5:30. I skip lunch on Friday to do something called Tea and Talk. We read one book each month and write summaries about each chapter for credit. Not to mention all of the extra credit work I've been doing. I need to do more though. I need to earn about 34.3 credits each quarter(2 months) to be able to graduate this year. I want to graduate this year, then take some Junior College courses, then go to Empire College to get whatever credentials I need to be a phlebotomist(Someone who draws blood).

I began my fast at 6:30pm and haven't had anything yet(Food, Drink, etc.) Well, I need to clean my room, goodnight.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Colt 45 - Afroman
01 August 2012 @ 04:39 pm
I'm 293.4 as of this morning.
Current Mood: blaheh
28 July 2012 @ 02:57 pm
I'm 297.6 as of 11:30pm last night, after I binged and purged.

My longest fast ever was almost 4 days. I went from 285 to 272.8. 12.2lbs in 4 days. Granted most of it was water weight, I'm craving the rapid weight loss again.

I'm not sure how long I will fast, but I hope to at least make it to 4 days. That way I will have beaten my old record. I really want to be 275 or less by my birthday on August 10th. Thats 22.6lbs I need to lose in 14 days, including today.

School starts a few days after my birthday and I would love to start it a decent ways away from 300 pounds. If I can be 270-275 on the first day of school that would be great. I am repeating the 10th grade this year. No biggy, I'll be 18 when I graduate. I see this extra year as a way for me to lose weight. I think that I was meant to fail and re do this year to lose weight. I won't mess it up.

My plan for when school starts as of now(it's open to change later), is to eat a small breakfast, carry a bottle or two of water with me to school and down them to keep my stomach from growling. I can have as much gum as I want, but I have to chew it for at least 1 hour. I will bring a piece of fruit, most likely an apple, a pear, or a banana to school and have that during lunch. I can also have unlimited ammounts of celery, cucumber, carrots, and lettuce for snack times or lunch. I plan to eat the aforementioned foods when my stomach growls. I assume I'll have PE, but if I don't, I'll walk and do other light exercises at home. I do need to focus on my studies this year and maintain at least a 3.0 average. If I have extra time between losing weight and school, I'll try to get a job.

That's all I have planned so far, but I will definately edit it in the future.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: I Still Miss Someone - Johnny Cash
25 July 2012 @ 01:16 pm
It's been like 2 and a half YEARS since I've posted!! On my last post I weighed 244.1. Sadly I didn't lose a bunch, I actually gained a bunch.. My HW used to be 273, now it's 297.6... Right now I'm 296.8. So not an improvement really.

I will however change this now! My next goal weight is 275.

I have gotten a lot worse in these past 2.5 years. I self harm significantly more than I used to... I have scars covering my body. My ED is a billion and 1 times worse. I've developed BED which is the main reason for my 52.9lb weight gain. I purge a lot more than I used to as well.. I hate doing it. I can't sing anymore, because my voice is raspy. I have really bad stretch marks from gaining weight quickly. It's terrible. I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy. I wish I would have never stumbled upon pro-ana sites in 7th grade. That's when all this crap started. I have to go to therapy every week now. *sigh* I can't wallow in self pity forever.

I want to lose weight. I want to be thin. I want it SO badly!
Current Mood: moodymoody
Current Music: Decadence and Disorder(The Voice of Anorexia)-ElysianSoul
24 January 2010 @ 11:35 am
244.1lbs. This plan is to slow, but if I don't want to end up in the hospital, I guess I have to do it slow and steady. XP
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Everywhere I Go-Hollywood Undead
19 January 2010 @ 10:18 pm
Okay, I fasted for a week. Not eating, or drinking anything(not even water), but I passed out during basketball practice. I had been 237.2lbs, but they took me to the hospital and I was there for 6 days. I thought I was eating normal calorie foods, like no more then 1200 calories per day. They were feeding me like 2000 calories per day though!!!!!!! I feel so fucking fat now. They let me go home yesterday and now I weigh 246lbs!!!! Ugh... I gained 8.8 lbs in 6 days. I hate that hospital. Now I'm just going to do something new. I think I'll just be a vegetarian, only drink water/juice, and I won't eat past 5pm. Goodnight. 
Current Mood: fucking pissed!
01 January 2010 @ 06:52 pm
I'm still 242.5lbs. Since it's a new year I've decided to start over.

I hope to be 200lbs by the March 1st. Wish me luck. :) <3
Current Mood: deviousdevious
20 December 2009 @ 11:21 am
Current Mood: excitedexcited